I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
