i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
