Do you still have your period?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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