I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
