She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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