i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
