I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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