I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
