I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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