im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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