covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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