one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
