I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
