allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
