I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
