I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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