shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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