I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize