i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
