You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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