dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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