Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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