We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
