so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
