is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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