tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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