We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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