either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
