Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Soap is not a condiment
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
