Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
