You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
