fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize