thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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