She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize