Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
