This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
