3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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