Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
