even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
