you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
