at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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