I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
