last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
