I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
