Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
