I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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