Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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