thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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