cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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