I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
