Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
