i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
