My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize