Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
COCAINE IS GR8
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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