She is in my trunk
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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