How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
