Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
