i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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