would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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