i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
