i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
