So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
