I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
