The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
