the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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