TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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